I. AM. MYSTICAL.

Dear person who reads the college applications,

I am a mystical being, often found riding unicorns with Harry Potter, while fighting Lord Voldemort. In one day I have wooed thousands or woman with my sexy tractor. In one week I have taught a llama to play the banjo. In one month I have sent over 5000 text messages.

Occasionally I defeat large troops of dementors, using only a toothpick, on my lunch hour. On Mondays I do pilates with my cat. On Wednesdays I help the poor and unfortunate. On Thursdays I go cow-tipping with Megan Fox. On Saturdays I run to Australia and back just to stay in shape.

Twitter is not necessary in my life, because I am already following you. The face in Facebook is my face.

On my Journey to Germany, I froliced through a forest, I ate Schnitzel, and I found Hitler. On my way back to Canada from Germany I found platform 9 and 3/4, I didn't go through the wall to get to the train, the wall went around me.

My intelligence sparkles more then Edward Cullen's skin, my confidence shines more then the bald head of Mr. VanCamp and my punctuality glistens stronger then a rooster in the morning.

If this application doesn't woo you people, i'm sure my tractor will.